"To going against the grain, going insane, going mad" - Anthony Rapp, Rent
I have been raised with a Catholic school education all my life (and I'm Lutheran. Go figure) so I was never raised to express my "freaky" side. I was always told there is one way to do something, and it's this way. I have been able to express myself through art, but I was always told there are restrictions. You can't go too far. Someone will always say something, and not in a good way.
But a couple of years ago, I took a leap. I started writing fanfiction for the show The West Wing. I even posted it on the interent. I was fourteen when I started, and people wrote to me and told me how my writing was beautiful and that I got the character's voices down pat. To say I was thrilled is a understatment. I'm still writing, since I always get very proud of my work. I might even have another blog just for my stories. Hmmm. Something to think about.
Now, what makes me freaky? That's hard to answer, since I don't usually like to say how I'm different. I'm so used to trying to blend in, I forgot how to stand out. I'm so scared that people will laugh and make fun (it's happened before). I don't want to go through that. I can't stand when people laugh at me, not with me. But in this course, I have to ignore them. I also have to ignore that little voice in my head that says "People won't like this. Who are you trying to fool?"
So what makes me a freak? Well, there is the fact that I can read a book in less than a day (my friends were always amazed by that). Some people would say I'm a freak since I always do my work (it's true. In high school, people thought I was a genius. I just did my work and paid attention. Not the hardest thing in the world to do).
Also I love to reenact scenes from movies and television shows. Ever since I was a little girl, I would watch a movie over and over again, and then play out the scene in my living room. I would remember what the characters said and then say them the same exact way. I still do that today. I don't, necessarily, play it out in my living room (I prefer my bedroom. Much more private) but I can resite scenes from television shows. Scenes from The West Wing? Yep. I also can tell you what episode they said a certain line and sometimes what act what it was in.
Like, for instance, one of my favorite quotes is when my favorite character, Josh, said to a Senator, "Senator, why don't you take the legislative agenda and shove it up your ass?" I can tell you, without looking it up, that that line was in Season 1, episode Mandatory Minimums, teaser.
I'm pretty sure that I have a photographic memory. Not unusual, but I remember the weirdest things. Like, today, Mike was wearing a purple shirt with tan pants. The computer teacher was wearing a flowered skirt and sandles. I remember what I wore when I saw Wicked eight months ago. I can remember the shoe size of an actor that I no longer like (don't ask me how I know his shoe size). It also comes in handy, since I can also remember people's names and faces. By next week, I should have everyone's name down.
I don't know if what I consider weird really is weird. But many people have told me that knowing every scene from The West Wing is just not normal (but it's a really good show!). I think the reason I can recite movies and television shows is because I secretly want to become an actress. I love performing; I love that thrill of excitment you get right before you perform. I enjoy speaking in front of people. I love making people laugh. My secret wish is to perform on stage, somewhere.
Here's to hoping that dreams come true.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Wow awesome post! I really hope you make a separate blog for your stories, I would really like read them. It's awesome that you can remember things so well. Not many of us are fortunate for that (like myself haha). And I hope our poem made you also remember the shirt hahaha. That was so much fun.
You really got me with this blog post. Great writing and really wonderful insights on the nature of Freakiness.
You are definitely moving in the right direction. I can see the freak in you starting to come out.
By the way, is there anything wrong with a purple shirt with kaki pants?
Post a Comment